Four years ago, a few of us here at Cornerstone came up with what we thought was a fantastic idea. Why not start a Cornerstone Men’s slow pitch softball team? We did a little research and decide to play with the Waukesha Park and Rec. Department in a league called Minor Red. That sounded good, Minor Red, sort of like the minor leagues. Since this was going to be our first season, we could beat up on the teams in Minor Red before moving on to a tougher, more skilled league. I still remember that very first game. We were all excited and convinced that we were going to win easily. Our confidence was further increased when our very first batter, Josh King, opened up the game by crushing a towering home run over the centerfield fence. We were going to dominate for sure.

Unfortunately, it was downhill from there. After Josh hit that first home run, the other team went on to score nearly forty runs. We actually stationed some of our fans on the other side of the fence to throw the ball back after the other team hit home runs. We lost every game that season, but we’re improving. In the three seasons since, we have actually won three games, and that is not even counting the ones we won because the other team forfeited. This year, our goal is win two games in the same season. At the rate we are improving, we should easily win the league championship in say, six or seven decades.

Looking back on it, we should have known that we would not do super well in a city league. Most of the teams we play are made up of guys who were good enough to play baseball in college. Most of the guys on our team have never even played before. But there is something significantly different about Cornerstone’s softball team. In the four years we have had this team, we have never cut a single person from the team. There are no tryouts, no cuts, and no evaluations of skill level. If we were going to have tryouts, I’m not sure I’d make the team and I’m the manager. The team is open to every man who wants to play, regardless of skill. On the Cornerstone softball team, everyone belongs to the team, and everyone plays regardless of how good they are. We do not base anyone’s belonging to the team on their skill level. Sure, skill is important. Sure, we’d like to actually win two games this season. But unlike the other teams in our league, what is most important to us is that people belong to the team; we worry about skill later.

While that probably seems odd for a softball team, and probably explains why we don’t win very many games, it should make perfect sense for a softball team sponsored by a church. In the church, belonging to the body comes first. Behavior comes second. That has been Paul’s argument all along. He just spent three chapters telling us how unworthy we are of salvation. None of us deserves to be a part of the body of Christ because none of us behaves as we should. And yet, Paul spends the first half of Ephesians telling us that we do belong, in spite of our behavior. Look back at chapter 1. Verse 4 says “He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world.” Verse 5 says “He predestined us for adoption.” Verse 14 “we are sealed with the Holy Spirit.” But then jump ahead to chapter 2 verse 1. “You were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked.” Our behavior was dead, wretched, terrible and yet we are told in verse 4 and 5 that God in His rich mercy saved us anyway. That’s why Paul calls it grace in verse 8! Paul continues in chapter 2 verse 11 reminding us that we were once aliens from Israel, strangers to the covenant, without hope. But now, verse 13, we who were once far off have been brought near. Look at verse 19 “We are no longer strangers and aliens, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God.” We belong! In spite of the fact that we ourselves were dead in sin, in spite of the fact that we continue to sin, regardless of the fact that our behavior is still wretched and terrible, by the grace of God we belong; we are fellow citizens of the household of God!

It would make sense then that having this incredible understanding of the grace of God that we should be overflowing with grace towards others. And that’s exactly the argument Paul begins to makes in chapter 4 verse 1. He says “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called.” In English, to be worthy means to deserve or to earn something, but in Greek, the idea behind this word is that the manner of our walk should be consistent with, or in keeping with the fact that we have been called to faith in Christ through grace. If we understand that we belong in spite of our behavior, then to be consistent, to walk worthy of that calling, we should also understand that others belong in spite of their behavior. Paul says in verses 2 and 3 that this means being humble and gentle, patient, bearing with one another in love, eager to keep to the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace. A gracious attitude naturally flows from an understanding of the awesome grace of God displayed towards us in Jesus Christ.

But what we do find in the church? We treat the body of Christ like a softball team. Even though God put our belonging before behavior, we put others behavior before their belonging. If you act like we think you should act, do things the way we think they should be done, believe about things the way we believe, then you can belong. But if you start acting differently, handle situations differently then we think they should be handled, dare to believe something different than we believe, then one of us has to go. Either you can’t be a part of us any more, or we’re going to go join a different group that behaves and acts like us. Rather than saying “We all belong together, now let’s work on our behavior” we say “We can’t be a part of you, look at your behavior.”  The problem with this is that it is not consistent with our calling. Having experienced unspeakable grace, we now have none for others.

This should not be. It is not walking worthy of the calling we have received as the people of God. Instead, we should understand that all of us who believe in Jesus Christ have received the exact same grace through faith. That’s Paul’s focus in verses 4-6. There is one body, one spirit, one hope, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all. We all belong to the same body, and through Christ, we all belong in spite of our behavior. This understanding should cause us to work towards unity, not division. Rather than telling others they do not belong, we work towards unity with them because they do belong. In verses 2 and 3, Paul lists five attitudes that he says we need to have if we wish to work towards unity, and it is these five attitudes that I want to examine this morning as we talk about belonging and behavior.  If we truly understand what it means that we all belong to the body of Christ despite our own behavior, then we should display each of these attitudes as we work towards unity with others.

Paul lists five attitudes, but they naturally fall into three groups. First, because we all belong, we should treat others with humility and gentleness. In English, humility and gentleness are two completely different concepts, but here in our passage, Paul is actually using two closely related words.

The word translated humility occurs only seven times in the Bible, most likely because, outside of the Bible, it is viewed negatively. Literally, it means thinking of oneself as low, subservient, or unimportant. Many Greek writers, such as Socrates, warned people not to be prideful, but they also warned people against thinking of themselves as too low as well; to willingly put oneself in a servant’s position was looked down upon in Greek thought. Greeks were even uncomfortable with prostrating themselves before rulers because they thought it made a person too low.

Paul has chosen a word that his readers in Ephesus may actually think of as a bad thing. But for Paul, the term is almost always positive. It is included in a list of virtues in Colossians 2. Paul also uses it to describe himself in Acts 20 when saying goodbye to the Ephesian elders. He says “You know how I lived among you…serving the Lord with all humility.” Paul is asking the Ephesians to do something he himself has already done among them. He willing suffered persecution and humiliation to work in Ephesus, becoming their servant and a servant of the gospel. Perhaps the most important use of this word for humility is in Philippians 2, which we read earlier, in that great passage about the humility of Christ, where Paul encourages the Philippians to humbly think of others as better than themselves. Christ is the ultimate example of self-humiliation in that passage, willingly humbling himself, even to the point of death on the cross. Paul is asking the Ephesians to willingly think of themselves as servants as they deal with others in the body.

This idea fits quite well with the second word translated here as gentleness. It too can mean humble or meek, which is how the KJV translate. Literally, it means not being overly impressed with one’s sense of self-importance. While the first word we discussed for humility was considered to be a negative by the Greeks, this second word was considered a virtue. It has it roots in the idea of friendship. Most often, it is translated as gentleness, focusing on the kindness that would exist between friends. In both Galatians and 2 Timothy, Paul uses the word when speaking of correcting someone. He says “restore him in a spirit of gentleness” and that “the Lord’s servant corrects his opponents with gentleness.”

For Paul, the ideas of gentleness and humility are closely linked, especially when talking about the unity of the church. How do we handle conflict when it arises in the church? What happens when there are multiple opinions? What do we do about disagreement?

Normally, we stick to our guns. We stubbornly say it’s my way or the high way. My perspective is the right one. We should do it my way. If you can’t get in line with how I think it should be done, then you can’t belong here. We’re back to acting like a softball team. If you don’t agree that my way is the correct behavior, you can’t belong or I’ll go elsewhere. Rather than humbling ourselves, we exalt ourselves over everyone else. Forgetting the fact that we are all fallen, sinful human beings, we act self-righteously. I have the answer. I know what’s best. The rest of you should just fall into line with what I say.

But if we listen to Paul’s exhortation here in Ephesians, we will approach the situation with humility. Maybe my way is not the best way. Maybe you have the better perspective. Maybe you see something I don’t see. Can you imagine the change that would take place if we all approached each other with that sort of humility, if we willingly lowered ourselves and made ourselves servants to others? Imagine the unity that would develop if every time there was a conflict we all humbly considered the validity of other’s suggestions. If instead our starting being “I’m right, convince me I’m wrong” we started with “Maybe your right, let’s consider your suggestion first.”
 
But Paul also considers the possibility that maybe we are right. Having humbly considered the options, we may conclude that our position is still the correct one. Then what do we do? Do we trash the other person, brow beating them into submission? What’s wrong with you, why can’t you see the obvious? This is where the gentleness, the kindness between friends becomes important. In gentleness we correct and instruct, humbly understanding that while we may be correct this time, that will not always be the case. We are not God’s gift to the church. We are not all knowing church gurus. Instead, in humility, we realize that we while may have it right now, we may be in the wrong later. Rather than allowing behavior to affect belonging, we humbly remember that belonging comes first, then we gently work on the behavior.

Josh King and I both enjoy playing the outfield on Cornerstone’s softball team. Josh has a unique ability to judge where the ball is going to be hit long before the batter swings, simply based on the batter’s appearance. He’ll shout over to me “This batter does not look like he can hit it very far; you should move closer to the batter in case he hits it short.” I, however, normally stay right where I am. After all, I played outfield on my high school’s baseball team; I know baseball better than Josh. And where is the ball usually hit? Right where Josh said it would be. If only I had listened to him, I would have caught it. You would think I would have learned my lesson long ago, but it has taken four years for me to humble myself and consider that, even though Josh has never played baseball, he might actually know what he’s talking about. For four years, I’ve allowed my pride and arrogance to affect the performance of our team. We’re over halfway through this season, and only now have I willingly lowered myself and listened to Josh. And yet, in those four years, Josh has never yelled at me. He’s never pointed out how much of an idiot I am. He’s never said “I’m always right, why don’t you just listen to me?” Instead, he just gently continues to say to me “hey, you should move up, I think this next batter can’t hit.”

In the church, we do the exact same thing I did to Josh. We won’t even consider another option. But Paul says, for the unity of the church, we need to be willing to swallow our pride and consider another’s perspective. And when other’s do not see it our way, even when we are right, we gently, humbly seek to instruct them, understanding that we still may be in the wrong, either now or in the future.

The second attitude that Paul says we should have since we all belong is patience, bearing with one another in love. These two fit quite nicely together. Patience is staying calm while waiting for an outcome, or while being provoked. Bearing with someone means to endure, to put up with them.

Paul is asking the Ephesians to put up with each other, both as they wait for growth and maturity in one another, and as they continually irritate each other.

In the church, though, we expect immediate results. Okay, you belong, let’s fix your behavior, right now. I told Elayna when she was first born that I would change her diapers for month, then I expected her to be potty trained. I’m more gracious with Aubrey. Since she is the second born, I’ll give her two months. We all know how ridiculous that is. Elayna just turned two and is only now getting to the point where she is ready to be potty trained. Aubrey is only a month old; we have a long way to go before we stop changing her diapers. And yet, that’s exactly what we do with people in the church. You are spiritually born again. Fantastic, now you have two weeks to be perfect in every way. It’s not going to happen! In fact, no one will be completely perfect in this lifetime. Paul does not say “Be patient until everyone is perfect like you.” No, he says bear with one another in love. One another! All of you be patient with everyone else. Each and every one of us has areas where we need to grow. We all are still be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ. Paul says then that we should be patient with the process. It will not happen over night. We do not know how the Holy Spirit is working in each person’s life. While the Spirit is working in one person’s life on one issue, He may be working in someone else’s life in a completely different issue. But He is working. We may get frustrated that even though we humbly and gently instructed someone, they still do not get it. We humbly and gently instruct, but there still seems to be no connection between what we are saying and how they behave. How long do we have to wait? Paul says “be patient.” It may take a week, a year, a lifetime. They may never get it, but that does not change the fact that I am called to be patient, waiting on a process that will only end in eternity.

So what do we do in the meantime? We bear with one another in love. Literally, we put up with them. Even though we still see their faults, even though they still bug us, even though we are irritated beyond belief, we bear with them in love. Why? Because we all belong. Chance are others see our fault, we probably bug other people and irritate them too. We all get on each other’s nerves. We all fail to behave as we should. We all forget to be humble and gentle, but we are still called to endure and bear with one another in love. We all need to wait as the Spirit works in each of us. Rather than separating, withdrawing, or dividing, for the sake of the unity of the church, we lovingly put up with one another. We all belong, therefore we all must be patient, bearing with one another in love.

The final attitude that Paul says we need to have because we all belong is an eagerness to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. The fact that we are united in the Spirit is, of course, not something we do. It is God who has made us one. What Paul is saying here is that we should maintain the actual living out of that unity in our interactions as the body of Christ. We are one, now we should work to see that unity displayed in the interactions of the church.  Paul further says that this is done is in the bond of peace. Again, Paul is not suggesting that the bond which exists between us as believers is because of our human efforts at peace. Instead, Paul is encouraging the Ephesians, and us, to pursue an atmosphere of peace because such a bond already exists between us.

The key attitude which Paul says we should have is eagerness. It carries the idea of being diligent in completing a task. We can talk for hours about humility and gentleness, peace and bearing with others in love, but there must be a desire to see unity take place. We must be willing to work for it.

This is the hardest attitude to have because you can’t fake it. We can pretend to put up with others faults, while inside we are boiling. We can fake humility and gentleness, patronizing people while still thinking to ourselves how good we are. But true eagerness cannot be faked. You are either working towards unity or you are not. An attitude of division, even when paired with actions of unity, will not create the unity in the body of Christ that Paul hopes for. Instead, Paul wants real humility and real patience flowing from a sincere desire for unity.

I’ve bragged about how united our softball team, about how we do not care about skill and all that is important is belonging. Well, that’s on the outside. I know that every player on a team struggles with a desire for unity. When you get beat forty to nothing on a regular basis, lose close games because of someone’s else’s lack of skill or knowledge, you seriously begin to question where or not it is all worth it. Is it worth it to be humiliated week in and week out all for the sake of unity? Is it worth it week in and week out to be patient with other players who just don’t ever seem to get a hit, even after four years? I have to admit, it’s a struggle. I don’t always feel like being patient and I know that some guys on our team probably get tired of being patient with me.

It isn’t easy. It takes diligence. It takes work, which is why Paul says here that we should be eager, diligent to maintain that unity. Sure, it’s going to be tough, and we are not always going to do it right. We may withdraw from others because of their behavior, or maybe they withdraw from us because of our behavior. We may fail to be humble with others and exhaust every ounce of patience we think we have. But we must remember that even an apparent lack of unity in the body, cannot change the fact that we all belong. Verses 4-6 do not change, despite our failure to maintain unity.  There is still One body, One Spirit, On hope, One Lord, One Faith, One baptism, One God and Father of all. That’s Paul point when he speaks of eagerness to maintain unity. He calls us to be eager to work towards something that already exists. We are already united in the Spirit, there is already a bond of peace which binds us together. Thus, we are being eager, diligent, working towards living out a unity that already exists in Jesus Christ. So let’s eagerly work to maintain the unity of the body, understanding that even when we lack the eagerness, humility, gentleness, and patience to maintain unity, we are still united in Christ; we still belong!

Three weeks ago, the Cornerstone softball team experienced a miracle. We actually won a game. Sure, we made mistakes. Sure, we had to put up with a lot from each other and it required a lot of humility. But through working together as a team, we accomplished our goal. We actually looked like a softball team and won our first game of the season.

There’s a lot more to a church than winning softball games. Our goal is walk worthy of the calling that we have received. We’ve been called as the united body of Christ, to glorify Him in the way we interact with each other. So let’s put aside our arrogance, our pride, our pettiness, our insistence that people behave like we think they should before they can belong. Let’s be humble, gentle, patience, bearing with another in love, working eagerly to live like we already are: the united people of God.