An Introduction to Family Worship
As you may have read, the Menominee Indian Reservation, site of the 2004 Mission trip, is one of the most spiritually needy places on the face of the earth. This spiritual wasteland is not caused by an absence of churches. In fact, there is a vast multitude of churches on or near the reservation, although each of these churches is filled with only fifteen or so women and children. The issues facing the Menominee Indians can all be traced to one central problem—the breakdown of the family structure. Masculinity on the Reservation is associated with independence. Men do what they want and no one can tell them what to do. As a result, the men of the Menominee Indians have neglected all financial, spiritual, and relational responsibility to their families. The result is a shattered community. Children are not taught proper behavior. Seeing the example of their fathers they ignore all authority figures and live as they please. There is no longer a moral code because children have not been trained and instructed in how they should live. As the family core has deteriorated into chaos, so to the Menominee Reservation has declined spiritually, financially, and as a community as a whole.
God did not prescribe such family breakdown in the Israelite community. Instead, parents, especially Fathers, were given clear instructions to train their children in how they were to live. In Deuteronomy 4:9, Moses tells parents to “teach [these commands] to your children.” All of the laws and instructions which Moses had given to the adults were to be passed on to the children by their parents. Just as in the case of the Menominee Indian Reservation, a breakdown in this transmission of the Law would lead to a breakdown of the community as a whole. Paul reiterates the commands of Moses in the case of the New Israelite community in Ephesians 6:4b when he tells Fathers to bring their children up “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” In God’s design, the responsibility for instruction lies with the parents with the Father as the spiritual head.
Today, we live in a wonderful society. We have the freedom for churches and ministries by the thousands and millions. In many ways, we are spiritually spoiled. We can send our children to Sunday school, youth ministries, kid’s clubs, Christian schools, and Brigade groups. While all of these opportunities are fantastic ways for our children to gain Christian instruction, they fail to eliminate the responsibility of the family to bring their children up in the “discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Youth ministries, Brigade groups, Christian school teachers, and Sunday school teachers are all faithfully proclaiming the Word of God and seeking to instruct children in the ways of grace. Yet, they do not replace the family core. It is in the context of family that God commanded parents to instruct their children. Other influences only reinforce that instruction; they do not replace it.
So, if parents, and primarily Fathers, are the ones that God has called to disciple their children, how do they accomplish that task? How within a family context does one train and instruct their children? The purpose of this article is two-fold. First, to point out that it is the parents who have the primary responsibility to train their children, and second, to begin to answer that question—how do I disciple my children. This is a large question that will take a series of articles to answer. The following is only a brief answer to the question. In the coming months and in subsequent newsletters, the practical “how to’s” of discipling children will be examined more in depth. For now, here are some practical suggestions.
First, make family a priority. Throughout my high school years and now as a person who works with youth, I have heard many parents apologize for keeping their teens home from youth group because of family activities. Do not apologize! The youth ministries of Cornerstone Church do not replace the family unit. Rather, they attempt to reinforce what is taught at home and provide social and leadership opportunities for teens. It is only reinforcement, not replacement. Family time comes before friend time or before youth group time. Family should have the highest priority. Make it a goal to eat together at the table. Do not allow busy schedules or outside distractions to erode away the family unit, for it is within the family context that children are brought up in the “discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
Second, make family worship a priority. On a Sunday morning, sit together as a family so that you can worship together as a family. Serve together in the church. I have always been impressed that at Cornerstone entire families participate on worship teams and set-up/take-down teams. Find a place where you can all serve as a family. Also, designate a specific time of each day where your family can have devotions together. This could be at the breakfast table before school, the dinner table in the evening, or before everyone goes to bed. There are a multitude of resources (which we will examine in later articles) that can be used for this time—R. C. Sproul’s Tabletalk, the Shorter Cateshism by G. I. Williamson, the Children’s First Catechism, available on the Cornerstone book table, or other resources available from InterVarsity or Navigator Press. Be jealous of this time; do not let other things take its place.
God has called us as families to raise our children in the “discipline and instruction” of Him. This is not a suggestion, or even a strong recommendation. Rather, it is a responsibility of a Christian parent. Hopefully you have seen some basic ways in which you can begin to or can continue to fulfill this responsibility. In coming months we will further examine facets of family worship which will, Lord willing, give you further insight into ways in which you can fulfill your calling to your family.
